Fighting To End The Stigma Of Depression with Sharon Kim
Whether she pops up on your TikTok For You Page or on your Instagram stories, one thing's for sure: Sharon is bold, high-octane, and not afraid to express herself. Originally from Northern Virginia, Sharon is a first-generation daughter of Korean immigrants who spent her whole life refusing to fit into stereotypical boxes or expectations of others. She double-majored in Finance and Risk Management at the University of South Carolina Honors College and initially followed the conventional path that most Finance majors keep to: Corporate America. After spending 5 years following the 9-5 wave, she decided to make her own wave, leave her career at her stock brokerage, and pursue her passion for fitness and boxing full-time. Two years later, it is safe to say she has executed everything she set out to do and then some, fully establishing herself as a force to be reckoned with in the DC fitness community. Currently, she's a Rumble DC Founding Trainer, a boxer on the highly respected Headbangers Boxing Team, and running her own private training business.
In this episode, we talk to Sharon Kim about:
• How Sharon & Cami met
• Who did you want to be vs. who did your parents want YOU to be?
• What happens when you get furloughed from your job….you become a TIK TOK superstar
• How to take charge of your own life story & not let cultural expectations impact your decisions
• Stepping away from an abusive relationship & stepping into boxing
• Finding boxing as a female in a male dominated sport
• Coming into alignment with your purpose
• “Quitchella”: From finance to fitness
• Breaking generational and ancestral ways of thinking and living life
• Social justice & advocacy: how to play your part
• Losing friends when speaking your mind
• Protesing, looping thoughts and mental health
• Using your platform for the greater good
• Experiencing depression when you’re known as the motivator
• How to smile when you’re suffocating
• Dismantling people’s perception of yourself
• Sharon’s self-care practices
• Self growth, astrology & dating
• Sharon’s Tik Tok & going viral
Podcast Transcript
Released: December 17, 2020
Cami: Hello. Welcome, Sharon.
Sharon: Hi.
Cami: [00:00:16 unin] Sunday.
Sharon: Sorry?
Cami: I said happy Sunday.
Sharon: Happy Sunday. What a day. It's been [00:00:22 unin].
Cami: I know it is. We're getting lucky with this global warming lately.
Sharon: It's perfect running weather, but then I'm running outside and I'm like, "Wait a minute, it's December."
Cami: This is weird, but this whole year has been interesting to say the least, but here we are finally rounding down halfway through December. For those of you who don't know Sharon, Sharon is an amazing human. I met Sharon--actually, we overlapped in a lease, like three, was it three years ago? We were living in [00:00:59 unin].
Sharon: We were roommates in like a week and a half week.
Cami: Yeah. We lived together for like two weeks, but it was long enough for me to realize Sharon was a really special person, and we stayed connected. And so, when I started the podcast, I was like, "Okay. I need to have Sharon on at some point." So, really excited to have you. Sharon has multiple hats, but she is currently a rumble instructor. She's a personal trainer. She is a social justice advocate and TikTok superstar. So, she has many other titles as well, but I think my favorite one right now is how--I mean, I'm addicted to your TikToks.
Sharon: Thank you. I didn't realize that TikTok was going to take off like that, but it's a good hobby for me to have.
Cami: It is. It really captures your essence.
Sharon: Oh, thank you. Yeah. I mean, I feel like I can be myself on there. And when I first got TikTok, it was like nobody has this app, nobody I know has this app, so I can just do whatever I want and be crazy and whatever. And then, a few months later, everybody has it, so I was like, "Oh."
Cami: I know. That's the funny part. You're like, "Oh, okay. I guess a few more people are watching this than I thought." And we'll get into it at the end of the episode, but I have some questions for you around that because it's hilarious and it sounds like you're causing quite a stir. So, we'll get to that.
Sharon: I got some answers for you, too. Yeah.
Cami: Yeah. So, I really wanted to have you on here today because you have such a unique story and multiple triggered to life moments, like the way I see it. But I wanted to start back with what did you want to be growing up versus who your parents wanted you to be growing up.
Sharon: When I was younger, I wanted to be myself, but I wanted to be an actor or singer, something where I'm presenting, right? As a kid, I love performing. There's a VHS tape of me dancing in the house, putting on like Christina Aguilera concerts and stuff. But I feel like that's what a lot of children have, like lofty aspirations. And now, as an adult, I'm still growing up, so nothing's out of the question. But my parents wanted me to be, like a lot of foreign immigrant parents, wanted me to go to law school and be a lawyer. I mean, both great paths. Not that I was disillusioned at a young age, but I would say that people were like, "Oh, that's not realistic." And that's how I thought until I had one of my triggered to life moments when I left my job and I was like, "No. No one can tell me how my life is supposed to be written." So, I'm 29 right now, and there are people who are saying around me, "Oh, well, you're too old for this or that," or, "It's too late to learn this." And I'm like, "No, it's not to who." You know, right? So, I'm still growing up. So, that's my long answer.
Cami: Yeah. No. I love that. I think from what I've heard, obviously, my parents are not immigrants, but there is a lot of pressure culturally to be X, Y, or Z. I mean, I know my parents wanted me to just be happy. I don't really think they thought like, "Oh, you should be a doctor." I'm thinking like, "I don't know if they thought I could be a doctor." But I imagine that pressure is a lot to hold, especially as a young kid.
Sharon: Yeah. And I feel like a lot of children of immigrants feel this, and it's because the parents came over, sacrificed so much. Not that we feel indebted, but it's more from a young age, we've been taught that happiness is financial security, and happiness is status in America, right? And so, a lot of immigrants always feel like other. And so, the mentality is in order to be respected in this country and make it, you have to be at a certain position or a certain respectable position. But again, I mean, I'll go back to this--I mean, to who, right? Like, full respectable to who and by whose terms. I feel like a lot of children of immigrants have that struggle, and it's an ongoing struggle. As you grow up, you learn to take charge of your own story and learn how to reach over and cross those cultural barriers and cultural differences. And you can't change people's perspectives by forcing them to. You can't lead a horse to water and dump their head in it. That takes time. So, understanding all those conversations. So, yeah. It's been a ride.
Cami: Yeah. I think it's been fun to watch you. I know you in person, but I also watch you online. And there is not that many--I mean, there are, but there's not a ton of people, Asian Americans, boxing, and a female boxer at that. I just remember one thing that really stood out to me when I was living with you for a week and a half, is that you would drive like two hours to go to a boxing gym in Springfield, Virginia, and that's just not something like I forgot because I would be like, "Wow! That girl goes during rush hour to this boxing gym in the middle of nowhere after like an eight-hour day. Why? Like, what is that drive within her that makes her need to go there?" And so, you started boxing in like 2017 or 2016?
Sharon: 2016, yeah.
Cami: Okay. So, what about that year made you want to start boxing, and what made you drive like two hours to go boxing?
Sharon: I know that was crazy because I lived in D.C. I was in Arlington, and then I would go train out in Springfield, then drive all the way back to D.C. at night. It was bananas, but it was worth it. So, I'm a big believer of everything happens. Everyone says, "Everything happens for a reason," but I say more of like, "Everything happens the way it's supposed to." I was first introduced to a boxing class in 2016 shortly after I had finally stepped away for good from an abusive relationship. So, I wasn't in the best place with myself. I was kind of lost. I was younger, and I was still just figuring myself out. And so, my friend dragged me out to this class.
Cami: Yeah.
Sharon: And while I was in this little place, I was like, "Damn, this is cool." I let out all this aggression. But I'm someone who's like, if I'm doing something, I'm all in, or I'm not it at all.
Cami: [00:08:29 unin].
Sharon: So, I'm like, "If I'm going to do this, I want to know a technique. I want to make sure I'm doing it right so I don't hurt myself and all that." I was like, "I'm going to get one personal training session with [00:08:41 unin]. His name is Julian Morales. He's in Virginia. So, if you're looking for a good boxing coach, he's like who I started with. And then, the rest is history, right? I went down the rabbit hole because I found it and then I was taking classes all the time, I was doing PT all the time, and then it just snowballed into--the staff were like, "Oh, yeah. People come to the front desk asking while you're in session, how can I look like that? And it's been getting us clients." And then, after a while, people are like, "Do you want to start teaching class? I mean, you're taking class all the time." So, then I got hurt. And then, after a bit, "People love your class. Do you want to take personal clients?" So, then I got myself in that. So, it was just like one thing led to another.
Cami: Yeah.
Sharon: And I feel like the drive in going to train with this specific person and everything that I was doing in relation to boxing, I think, is really important to express that. It is a sport that breaks you down while building you up at the same time. It keeps you humble because at any level, at a professional level or whatever, there's always things to improve on. It keeps you humble, but builds your confidence at the same time. And for someone who was just getting out of an abusive relationship, that gave me so much power, not outward power, but internally. And so, it's contributed a lot to my mental growth. So, that's what drove me to train with the people I train with and go where I needed to go in relation--
Cami: Well, it's so interesting to hear that, like the second you got into something that obviously has become a huge part of your life, like, "The clients came. People wanted to work with you." It was just like a snowball effect, whereas, that's how you know you're exactly in the right place.
Sharon: Yes. And if something's for you, you don't have to force it, right?
Cami: Totally.
Sharon: So, like a snowball or like a river, like the current, it just went that way, and I went with it and I didn't fight it.
Cami: Yeah. I love that. So, a year after you started boxing, like maybe a year and a half, you decided that you were going to quit your corporate finance job and transition fully into fitness. You call it Coachella, which was hilarious because we've gone to Coachella and like them, you--I just thought that was so funny. But tell us about Coachella, and tell me how your parents felt about that.
Sharon: Oh, god. Okay. So, I named it Coachella because I put it in my two-week notice after I came back from Coachella. For the moment, I had meticulously planned that. I was like, "Alright, this is the Coachella. And when I come back, I'm going to drop the news, boom, I'm out." However, I knew I was leaving at the beginning of 2018 because when I got certification, I got it back in January. I didn't leave 'til May. So, I was taking the steps. And for a few months, I was juggling both. So, I was training clients, and then I was going to my trainer, and then I was working the 9:00 to 5:00. So, it was just a lot going on. So, when I finally decided to leave, I was like I'm rotting at my desk. And I felt like I was sitting in a puddle of my own wasted potential, right?
Cami: How does that feel?
Sharon: It feels like something sticky is just holding you down. No matter how high you try to get your vibrations outside that 9:00 to 5:00 time, when you're in that office, just the energy you feel it changes around.
Cami: Yeah.
Sharon: So, I was doing both for a little bit and I just had this, not epiphany, but something that just came to the forefront of my mind. I was like, "Well, if I can be good at a job that I hate--" because I hated the job, but I was getting my annual bonuses, I was doing great, I was the youngest person on my team, I believe. And I said, "If I can do great at a job that I hate, what would happen if I put eight hours a day into something that's pulling me, something that I love?" The possibilities are endless.
Cami: Yes.
Sharon: So, I made the decision in the winter of that year. And then, by spring, I was like, "Let's just go to Coachella. Let's make it like the best month and make it as carefree as possible." Obviously, when I left and made the decision to leave, put my two weeks in, I don't think anyone took me seriously. And then, [00:13:17 unin] I was like, "No. Today's my last day. My two weeks are in." My family was not happy. It's taken years for me to get used to the fact that I'm the one who's going to break a lot of generational ways and a lot of probably even ancestral ways of thinking and just way of living life and perspectives.
So, now, I'm in a better place with it. But when I was leaving, it was not easy. And I can see their perspective. As a parent, [00:13:53 unin] where you don't speak the language, you don't have a cent to your name. So, you build a lot out of nothing, just so your kids can have what [00:14:02 unin] to be a successful life. And so, they're like, "We sent you to college. We did this." And to them, they're like you're throwing it away for what, to teach boxing? And they're not hip to how--I mean, it's 2020. And even in 2018, how lucrative the boutique fitness industry can be, and how much of a platform it can give you?
I saw something online and I was like, "How can you expect someone to understand your vision if they haven't lived the same experiences?" You can't ask for directions from someone who isn't going to where you're going. So, it was difficult. A lot of arguments, a lot of tears, resistance, a lot of misunderstanding. At the end of the day, it was all out of love, right? But what it was though, because they loved me so much, they were projecting their worries onto me. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried generally because they're like, "What are you going to do about insurance? What are you going to do about your 401(k)?" Like everything that you built after college. And I had those questions, too, but it's like you're either going to develop cobwebs figuratively by waiting and thinking of these possibilities, or you're just going to go. So, it was a difficult time. And even now sometimes, I'll get some snarky comments like, "Oh, well, if you had stayed at so and so, then you wouldn't be in this position." But I'm in this place now where I can tune it out, stay focus on what's important to me.
Cami: Yeah. Well, especially, I think it makes it easier when you've actualized all the things you intended to actualize, granted it's a global pandemic and some things have shifted a little bit. But I mean, the trajectory prior to that was exactly what you had imagined. And I think it's still trending that way, it's just we have a few months of--well, we'll get there.
Sharon: It's part of the process. I love every part of it.
Cami: Yeah. So, my next question for you is, okay, so getting out of an abusive relationship and finding that boxing is one of the biggest passions in your life, that sounds like a triggered to life moment to me. But then, also leaving your job and what has been culturally expected of you, that also sounds like a triggered to life moment. And then, like following your dreams and getting furloughed during a global pandemic, that also sounds like a triggered to life moment. So, for you, what impacted you the most? And you're like, "Shit, I will never be the same because of this moment." Like, which one of those moments? Or maybe it's something different, is that moment for you.
Sharon: There's so many. A lot of personal growth going on the last three, four years. However, I would just say the most recent when I got furloughed because the action of a company furloughing their employees is not personal. I get it. How can they pay it and keep us on if everything's shut down? However, because my heart is so closely tied to my work, it became personal, and that it was something [00:17:25 unin] gave up all this to do this, and now it fell apart. So, I immediately just flipped the switch and was like, "Okay." And this was before the whole world switched to Zoom, and I think I was doing Google Hangouts. I was like, "Alright. I'm doing everything online. The fitness industry in itself is never going to be the same."
At the beginning of quarantine, one of my friends posted on his Instagram story, he was like, "Okay. Alright, trainers, all fitness professionals, strap in. This year is going to show who's got the chops to compete and who really is in this for the right reasons." And so, I feel like COVID changed a lot of things career-wise, even with relationships. I feel like once I lost a lot of the hometown, lifelong friends that I've had, not in a spiteful way, not a hateful way, it's just accepting the fact that my life will never be the same because that chapter is closed, because these people, as great as they are and as great as our memories were, we're not understanding each other. They don't see things the same way I see it, and it doesn't always have to be we always have to agree on everything, but there's some [00:18:51 unin]. And I just knew that I wasn't on that cookie-cutter path. Nothing wrong, right?
Cami: Yeah.
Sharon: You can absolutely have a fulfilling, amazing life, following whatever path you need to, whether it's conventional or non-conventional. But for me, it was just clashing every time we would hang out. So, COVID really just triggered my--like, made me reevaluate my relationships as well. And so, I don't think I'll ever be the same, and I'm sure we'll talk about this later on, because I know you'll probably ask me because I've been very open about my mental health. But it has triggered a lot for me mentally and I fell into depression, and being open about that was difficult, and it's still difficult. And this was my first time ever dealing with a mental illness myself. So, COVID has really impacted my life forever.
Cami: Yeah. I mean, the one thing that I noticed right off the bat was in Sharon Kim Fashion, it was like, "Okay. Let's do this Zoom thing. Let's get this really fucking organized. I'm going to have my spreadsheets out telling how much exactly I'm going to make this month, and I'm going to pay my rent, and I'm going to bring you along for the journey." And I was like, "Hell, yes." It was really fun to watch because in fitness, you don't always get that super organized--you don't get both ends of the spectrum. Someone is like really organized, but also, I don't know, which I think is why that finance to fitness transition is so--I mean, it's so valuable, right?
Sharon: [00:20:40 unin].
Cami: Yeah. You were on Zoom. You're making it happen. I mean, it was really fun to watch. And then, everything that has transpired with Black Lives Matters, and protesting, and really getting out there and standing up for what you believed in, it was so much fun to just witness someone that is as visible as you online really standing up and speaking to what you believe in. And that's not really something I thought about with you with like relationship-wise of like, "Oh, well, you may have lost relationships because of how bulky you were." I mean, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but was that the case?
Sharon: Yeah. So, it's crazy because I grew up in suburban area, but Northern Virginia is very diverse. You'll have the South [00:21:46 unin] immigrant living next door to the country club owner or something. And then, you'll have the self-made Vietnamese family next door to them. So Northern Virginia is very diverse. So, for me, it was very eye-opening and disappointing, and honestly, hurtful to hear some of the things that people would say to me, just for posting a specific story, even making like light jokes about Karens, Karen caring culture. And so, there's a saying that a general post will trigger or hurt a guilty person. Not that anyone's good, or bad, or guilty, or whatever, it's just I've had these conversations with these people ad nauseam. And some people--I'll bring it back to that point. It's like you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force them to drink, right?
Cami: Yeah.
Sharon: So, I started therapy that summer a lot. And so, I knew this, but to have a therapist say it to you in person, it's a little different. You can't change people unless they themselves want to change. And so, even if everything you're saying is right, and that's the thing with this whole--everything that's going on in the landscape and how polarized this country is right now, it's--or I believe it's like you can say everything right. You can have all the facts, you can back everything up with numbers, and whatever you bring to the table, but they're not going to hear you because--so it doesn't matter. And that's the thing, you can't change people.
So, it's been a very interesting year. However, what I think the beautiful thing about pain is pain makes you refocus, and pain makes you re-prioritize, pain makes you reshape--it's like cleaning out your closet for spring. So, it hasn't been easy. However, when it comes to the protest and all. Protest isn't fun. It's dangerous, it's violent, it's traumatizing, and not violent on the protesters, and every protest I was at were peaceful. But just to witness that--it's just not fun and it's a lot of fight or flight, it's a lot of anxiety. So, it's not a fun situation, but I knew that, okay, when it comes to something of this skill and promoting change on this skill, money talks. So, [00:24:34 unin] where everyone was donating to legal funds, this and the other. And I donated what I could, but I was like, "I'm also financially struggling. I'm unemployed and I couldn't get through D.C.'s unemployment system because they didn't have the capacity to get everyone through.
So, everything was jammed. I wasn't getting unemployment. So, I was like, "Okay. I can't donate anymore. I'm not even going to get my groceries this week." I was like, "So, where am I of best use?" You can do anything, but you can't do everything. So, I was like, "Well, I live in the nation's capital, I live steps away, I can just walk over, and I'm a presence, and I [00:25:18 unin] my presence, and I'm very passionate, and I have a lot of fire. So, where is that best used? I'm going to use my body since I can't talk with my dollars, but I don't have it." To go out there and take advantage of the fact that I live close. And also, it's one end where you're like--we're protesting, we're taking up space. And then, the other end is--I tried to document, but it's crazy when you're there, but I wanted to document some of it to be like, "This is what's really going on because there are things that the news isn't going to show you. And I think people needed to know that this is two blocks from where you're at, or you're eating brunch at this spot, but down the street, we're getting pepper-sprayed." So, two different Americas, five minutes away.
Cami: I know. I remember like walking to the protest looking over at late diplomat and being like, "This feels off."
Sharon: The contrary. Absolutely. So, it's taught me a lot for sure, but I knew--like I said, everything happens the way it's supposed to. I wasn't expecting--well, I didn't really think I just went, but I wasn't mentally prepared for what could have happened, and things that did happen.
Cami: Yeah. Well, what stands out to me so much is--and this is one thing that I was not realizing myself, which is like, I was under a lot of stress as well in the spring and going into the summer. And then, as soon as the protest started happening and I was going out to them like every other day, what I realized is I went into an immediate trauma response. And so, my thoughts just started to loop all the time, and I didn't realize that I was mentally finding myself in a really, really bad space, and I had to actually stop going to as many protests because it was just triggering something in me that was not going to be okay for my mental health long-term, which is not something I thought of when I was like, "Hell, yeah, I'm going to go stand up for what I believe in." And so, I'm wondering if you find that that attributed somewhat to your trigger into depression.
Sharon: I think it absolutely did because I think I had depression longer than I thought I did. Probably in May is when I had it, but my therapist is like, "You're really good at gaslighting yourself." And so, I was always like, "No. I'm just tired. I'm overreacting, I'm fine." And then, I'm sure you feel this way, too, because empaths, we feel pain as our own, right?
Cami: Totally.
Sharon: So, when George Floyd happened, it wasn't just, "Hey, George Floyd happened." It was after Breonna Taylor. It was after Ahmaud Arbery, right? So, it became too much, and I think that's when something switched in my brain, even before I started going out to the protest where I was like paralyzed and my roommate would see me outside on our deck just laying down, not even moving for like hours, and be like, "Hey, are you going to pick yourself up off the floor?" So, I didn't consider whether my type of personality, my type of emotional depth, would be able to handle a protest type of environment, on the hard way. I was going every day, and sometimes they were great, sometimes they were peaceful, and yeah. You just never know what to expect, like some days when you don't bring your goggles, you'll get sprayed, and then when you bring your goggles, nothing happens. You're like, "Okay."
That's when I started therapy because I was like, "Something's wrong." Like, I know myself and it's not right. And so, my therapist was like, "Can we set some boundaries? Because you still have to preserve you." And my therapist is that reminder to self-preserve, self-realize because you can't give your best if you're not at your best. So, I was dwindling in that aspect because I would be protesting 'til like 2:00 a.m., and then I would teach a 7:00 a.m. class the next morning. It's not fake, but you still have to be that. You're giving energy on it. So, I was giving energy here, there, everywhere. And so, I think it definitely contributed to the spiral because the opposite of play is not work, the opposite of play is depression. And I read that in Brené Brown's book, "The Gifts of Imperfection." And when I read that, I was like, "That's so true because I did not give a single second to myself to enjoy life even though--" and part of me was like, "How could I with everything that's going on in the world?"
Self-preservation is the most important thing. And so, I started going once a week because I was telling my therapist that I was having a lot of night terrors, dreams that I'll wake up in the middle of the night like sweating, being chased, sprayed, batons. I was just seeing a lot overnight. And so, to re-enter that environment over and over is very triggering. It's a constant loop of trauma really, and I finally had to stop going. So, I went from every day to every other day, to once a week, to just stopping altogether and just really--part of the resistance is rest, and part of the resistance is being able to experience joy. And I was like, "Okay. Now I know myself better. I can't handle these situations. So, where am I best of use here now? Okay. I'm going to be a supporter. I have to perform. I'm going to use my voice to give something to black creators, black brands, and educate people, and provide resources because I'm aware that even though people may not like everything I post, they're watching. I'm aware they're watching." So, I can use my voice to keep this issue at the forefront of people's feeds so that they can't ignore it, so that ignorance is not bliss. So, that's more of the role that I fell into, and more of balancing it out because change like this never happens in one day anyway, right?
Cami: Yeah, yeah. And it's interesting to think about the concept of immobilization, like you are not of use to anybody if you become immobile because of emotional overload. Like, if your system is flooded, you're not helping anyone. So, like preserving yourself is really important because we do need your light. So, it's admirable to see you actively think like, "Okay. This isn't working, but where else can I make it work? Because I still believe in what I believe in."
Sharon: Everyone has a role to play. So, if you go to a restaurant, not everyone can be the chef. So, a very simplified way to put it, but not everyone's going to be at the frontlines protesting, not everyone's going to be able to donate regularly. So, where do you fit in? And having that awareness to know in any situation where you fit in somewhere and know what your role is, that's so important.
Cami: Yeah. What is it like to have or experience depression when you're known as the motivator, like the one that gets the--I think of like if I'm feeling a little depressed, I go to a workout class because I expect the teacher to make me feel a little better, like I'm feeding off that energy. So, what is it like to experience depression when you're known as the motivator?
Sharon: I pride myself in being a great writer and being great with my words. I think I had a perfect SAT writing score. If it's not perfect--
Cami: I get that.
Sharon: But I say this because I'm really good at finding the right words to convey the right emotion, or to convey the right idea that I'm trying to get across. But when it comes to this specific topic, with having depression being the motivator, I don't have a word to describe this level of excruciating pain, which is crazy because I feel like I've been through a lot of other painful things in my life as many other people. The reason why it's so much more excruciating is because it's a silent invisible thing.
Cami: Where do you feel that kind of pain in your body?
Sharon: It manifests everywhere, like from your bones to your muscles, to your skin, to your weight, everything, and that's what people don't realize. I feel like I wasn't always putting on a show because it wasn't fake--anytime I taught, anytime I turned it on for people, it was genuine, but it's kind of like swiping an energy credit card that I didn't have. Because at the end of the day when people go to their workout class, or when they take a class, yeah, anybody can teach a squat. They're coming in your class. They're paying for your energy. So, at the end of the day, the interaction is an energy exchange.
So, I'm a big believer. And in that room at Rumble 2, whether it's a sold-out class of 60 or just people, when they leave, I really feel like we absorb some of their energy or whatever that they brought into that room that they need to let out, and then they take some of ours. And that's part of [00:35:12 unin]. I love doing that. I love helping people feel better. And so, have that position to be constantly thought of as like this positive person, and then to feel like I can't say my truth because I would be perceived as weak, perceived as not that type of quintessential fitness person that people think of. That was really difficult. And even when I did publicly come out about it, the amount of gaslighting, and unintentional gaslighting. People had [00:35:54 unin] it pushed me lower and lower and lower, because I thought like I was screaming, but nobody was hearing me. I was speaking English, but nobody here spoke English. That's how it felt.
And so, you feel more and more and more isolated in a year where everyone's already isolated. I'm an extrovert, so I thrive off of human interaction. So, I was having a hard time, and it's crazy because it is one of the most isolating mental illnesses, but you realize it's so common. People, unfortunately, struggle with depression, and it's not normalized enough. People are so--talking about who they hooked up with, what their sex life is about, or when they had strep throat. But how could we can't talk about when your mind was sick?
Cami: Yeah, yeah.
Sharon: So, that was kind of like, "Wait a minute, why is no one--" and some people prefer to silently struggle, or silently handle--there's nothing wrong with that. There's no wrong way to heal. But for me, I know if I can't express myself, I feel like a caged bird, just the way my personality is. And I'm someone who thrives off of expression. And I [00:37:14 unin] my TikTok, everything. So, I felt like I was suffocating. And to [00:37:22 unin] while you're suffocating is completely draining, and it's really painful, it's really painful.
Cami: Yeah. Is there a sense of freedom in dismantling people's perception of yourself?
Sharon: Yes. I feel like my whole life has just been switched up on people.
Cami: You're like, "Oh, actually, I'm not who you thought I was," and [00:37:58 unin].
Sharon: Yeah. Even when I was a kid, I always wore like--my parents dressed me girly clothes, or whatever you call girly, but then I'll would always be like in [00:38:09 unin]. I would always have like worms in my hand. I was always just like the wild card. And then, in high school, I was in orchestra, but then I was like, "Boom! I'm going to play lacrosse."
Cami: Yes.
Sharon: And so, everyone thinks small Asian lady, like that's the generalization, not that I agree with it. So, that's another subject with Asian people in the corporate world. We take up so much of a workspace, but how many of us are in leadership positions? So, the perception is that we just stay in our lane, stay quiet, make our money, the model minority myth situation, which is not even true. It's just a brainwashing type of thing to make Asian American immigrants think they're closer to whiteness. And so, then I switched up on that. I said, "Nope. I'm leaving." And I'm doing boxing constantly. And so, with this depression, I've also found that some people like me better when I'm down, and it shows. And so, to fight this has been so difficult and just to completely switch upon people all the time because some days, depression, it comes in waves. I'm not going to hide that. So, some days I'm going to make it to the top and I have that creative energy. Other days, I think people know now. If I'm not posting, people are like, "What's going on?" I don't know. And so, I do like that. Like, keeping people on their toes, but at the same time, everything I do is for me, and I have to document it. Those who want to follow along for the right grade, I'm not for everybody.
Cami: Yeah. How do you really get to know yourself as someone who is not who you were four months ago? Do you have practices to reacquaint yourself with the new you? Because I imagine that it can be confusing when your identity changes.
Sharon: Yeah. I spend a lot of time with myself. And when I say I spend a lot of time on myself, I don't mean I'm binging Netflix or whatever. I do a lot of thinking when I--like sometimes I'll go for drives, or when I run, just have a quiet time, just to reacquaint, what has changed? Do I like the version of me? What can be improved? What in my life is meeting me with resistance? And differentiating between, is this some type of resistance I push through, or is this some type of resistance that isn't speaking to me that is my calling? So, just to have that constant reevaluation and being able to sit with yourself and your thoughts, and not always want to numb with whatever the mechanism is.
That's been really important. And so, another thing is I started writing things down. And there was a journal and I was like, "I don't know how to journal." I [00:41:08 unin] notebooks yet again, really not. She's like, "Why don't you just start with just--write whatever you were feeling at that moment." And then, one thing turns into the next, one action turns into the next action. So, I write things down a lot. So, I'll always do that. Even from what I wrote in August, I was looking at that last night. I was like, "Wow, I've changed so much since August."
Cami: Yeah. I love that. Do you write on your phone, or do you have like pen to paper?
Sharon: Both. And then, I also send emails to myself. So, we have a whole library now. So, yeah. My notes section in my phone is crazy.
Cami: Heard.
Sharon: Yeah.
Cami: I'm always like, "If I die, don't ever read my notes."
Sharon: I'm like, "Read them." I got, "Read them." Well, I'm a big Myers nerd and like astrology nerd dude. I ask everyone what their Myers-Brigg is and what their Sun sign, rising sign is, and I put it in my notes.
Cami: You're an Aries, rising--I forget what else you are.
Sharon: I learned all this this year. I knew I was a cancer sign, but I didn't know about rising and moon sign until this year. I was like, "Oh, so much sense." So, my Sun sign is a water sign, and that's like my empathetic side, which is it's visceral, it's cancer. My moon sign is a Sagittarius. So, I'm always wanting to explore, always wanting to be learning new things. Rising sign is an Aries. And then, I have a lot of Leo placements.
Cami: Okay. That makes sense.
Sharon: It's like my sun sign is water. Everything else is a fire sign.
Cami: What's your Venus in?
Sharon: Venus is in Leo.
Cami: Ah, okay. I love that.
Sharon: Yeah. So, when it comes to like--Venus is how you show love, right?
Cami: Yeah. Like, how you show up in love.
Sharon: Yeah. So, if I'm with someone, I'm very proud to be with them, [00:43:10 unin].
Cami: I love that. What is it like to--it appears that you've gotten back into dating, which--what is that like to date when you're rapidly changing as a human? You're like, "This is me, but I might be different next week." What does it look when you're dating?
Sharon: It looks like this. Keep up, or get away, or get lost, because it's like, I'm assuming that the person who I'm seeing is doing work on themselves, too. If you're not [00:43:48 unin].
Cami: How do you vet for that?
Sharon: I don't necessarily vet, but you can just tell--I mean, [00:43:55 unin], but you just see what they do in their free time, or how they spend their time, do they sit with themselves, or are they always--nothing against drinking because I love wine, but are they always drinking every weekend, or are they leaving for the weekend? It's just things that they drop in conversation, but I will say the dating game in D.C. is difficult, notoriously difficult. But there are some good guys out there.
Cami: I love to hear that. I guess it's the perfect time to talk about your TikTok stardom because you've been ruffling a lot of feathers with your D.C. dating, like little vignettes of what a guy on a hinge is like, and they're hilarious. So, if anyone doesn't follow Sharon on TikTok, you've got to run right over there because--I mean, I laugh all the time, but I especially go on to TikTok to look at Sharon's what's next? I get little alerts on my phone that say when you posted something.
Sharon: You're so [00:45:00 unin].
Cami: But lately, the ones about D.C., you guys, are especially funny. Do you think that hinders? Did you guys find that funny, or are they scared, like, "Oh, my god, she's going to make fun of me?"
Sharon: I would say it weeds out who has informed me because the type of people--if you have egos that fragile, I'd be like, "No." Because here's the thing. If there was a female equivalent, like, "Oh, the second, it's all pumpkin spice. Oh, I love rosé, I love [00:45:35]." I'd be like, "Okay, Anne. Yeah. Let me bask in my brunch and my rosé. Let me have it." I wouldn't take it as like a personal, "Oh, you can't [00:45:44 unin]."
Cami: Totally.
Sharon: You have to be able to laugh at yourself. And that's what a lot of my TikTok is. I even make jokes about my mental illness. That's how I help with humor. So, you have to be able to laugh at yourself, and honestly, that's just the trend I was seeing. Everybody, seemingly, is a consultant. And surprisingly, I actually had no idea that was going to go viral because I hadn't been making TikToks for a while because the [00:46:08 unin] had gotten so bad that I just didn't want to do anything, and I didn't have creative juices or motivation. But now, I'm doing better, thank God. Normalize medications, too. They don't change [00:46:20 unin]. So, the medication has helped so much now. I'm finally motivated to do things again.
Cami: Yeah. It's so apparent even in the last month, like your presence on TikTok. I was like, "Oh, she's back." Thank God. I did miss you, but I was like, "Oh, it makes sense that you didn't feel good enough to make them."
Sharon: Yeah, I wasn't. So, when I made that TikTok, I was like--I mean, it's been forever since I made one. So, probably it's just going to get like 100 views or whatever. And then, I get a DM over D.C., and then crazy management consultants, like all these different meme accounts. They're like, "Hey, can we use this? Hey, can we use this?" I was like, "Oh, my god." And so, what happened was my DMs were crazy, like all these guys started being like, "Oh, well, you know." I am a consultant, but they have this kind of like--I take it as a challenge, like, I-can-prove-you-wrong type of thing. And then, I was on a date last night. He's not a consultant, but it was through that viral TikTok that we ended up going on a date. So, it's just crazy because people take the joke, they think it's funny, and use that as the way in. And then, some people just can't take a joke, girl.
Cami: Yeah. I totally get that. Well, it's funny now because I see you being like, "It's a joke. Don't worry." Really? She has to say that? But I mean, obviously, you do because people get very sensitive. How did you become such a good dancer?
Sharon: Believe it or not, I've actually never had formal dancing training or anything. I remember, too, when I was younger, my mom put me in like every class, like diving class, [00:48:08 unin] in dance class, she said, "No." And so, I have always been able--I think musically, I'm really inclined. I played piano for when I was 13, violin at 10. So, I can catch a beat, and I feel like in my Instagram about it, I really do feel like I'm a movement artist, like movement is [00:48:25 unin]. And professionally, what I do is when people hire me as a trainer, for movement through my art, that's how I make them feel better, or how they want to look, or whatever. So, it's just another form of me expressing myself. And when I first started TikTok, I don't know if people notice, but I was really sick before the lockdown. I was quarantined a month before that.
Cami: [00:48:50 unin].
Sharon: Yeah. They ruled out COVID. They said it was just a really bad sinus infection, but who knows. So, I went crazy because this was before lockdown, so I just got a TikTok. I was like, "You know what, I'm just going to do this pastime because I'm not well enough to go back into work yet, but I can move. The antibiotics is working." And then, in two months, it jumped to 11,000 and I was like, "What's going on? No." Because a lot of TikTok personalities have like a schedule. I'm going to post this [00:49:19 unin]. I'm going to post this type of content. I'm going to use [00:49:19 unin]." I just didn't have an objective. I was like, "I'm just going to have fun on here." And I feel like that's part of why I have 14 and a half thousand followers now, even with my [00:49:32 unin] from TikTok. It's because I don't have an agenda. And I think people can see that and feel that. It's real.
Cami: Yeah, it is. I mean, it's just so authentic and it's fun to see that like--I remember you saying TikTok is still like a platform where you can actually just be yourself, and that attracts people, and where's Instagram has the algorithm and all these different things. I don't know. I find that to be fun. And it does show because it's so playful and it's like--I don't know. I mean, TikTok is one of those things that I'm a little addicted to, but I don't go on it too often because it's addictive.
Sharon: Yeah. You're like you go to the next, the next, the next [00:50:14 unin].
Cami: It makes you feel really good.
Sharon: Yeah. You laugh, you learn, like a lot of my new is coming from TikTok now.
Cami: I know, I know. I mean, there's a plethora of different genres and whatnot, but it's just--I don't know. It's an interesting medium and it's been fun to watch you flourish on there.
Sharon: Thank you.
Cami: You spoke a little bit about this, but driving, writing. What other self-care things are non-negotiables for you, like making sure that you are showing up for yourself first? Like, what does a day look like? Like, how much self-care do you work into a day to stay optimized?
Sharon: Especially in the beginning and the end of my day. [00:51:08 unin] gets crazy. And obviously, it's not perfect. It's a constant process, it's a constant practice. Not like, "Boom, self-care today. I'm good. It's a constant practice. It's a constant work on yourself." I love Y7, and Y7 went online, a lot of other--yeah. So, it's hip-hop yoga, play some Frank Ocean, and just flow. I love to run, and I wasn't a distance runner really. I'm still not. Even if it's cold out, I'll go run and get some air. One more thing actually for myself now that I'm more aware of what I need and what gives and takes for my energy is at least once a week, make sure to see one friend, at least one friend.
And my work has helped me come to that like a requirement, but I guess weekly goal or another method of self-care because for someone like me, I'm very extroverted. Like, I have my moment where I need my alone time, and I have that, but there needs to be a balance. So, having friends after college is difficult because it requires more effort. You have to put the effort in. You have to show up, right? And so, I make sure that even if it's just getting coffee with someone, and it's also just prioritizing who gets that time because time is that one non-renewable resource. You will never get that time back. Another thing of my self-care is just making sure I see the right people every week.
Cami: Yeah.
Sharon: [00:53:00 unin].
Cami: Yeah, especially as a people person, it's so important to feel that connection with someone. So, moving forward, if you had unlimited capital, what would you do?
Sharon: I'll give it away. Easy. Here's the thing. Here I am studying [00:53:26 unin]. But I was making a very comfortable thing when I was at my core job because they'll pay you a lot to do not fun work and to protect a stock brokerage. So, I was making a good amount of money. I was traveling a lot and whatever. And then, when I made the switch, I was like, "Wait a damn minute. I'm leaving town every weekend to travel." Traveling is great, I love traveling, but I was like, "Am I just doing it to get away from my job every weekend? Because I'm really unhappy." And so, when I decided to leave, I knew that I was going to go back to making nothing.
And then, before Rumble [00:54:06 unin] days, those were crazy because it was making minimum wage. I went from reporting to vendor management committee to picking up kettlebells and passing out towels. So, I wasn't a [00:54:18 unin], but it was a big change. And for me, I was like, "Listen, I don't need a lot. I just need to pay my bills. I need to be able to eat. I need to be able to have a decent standard of living, but otherwise--" there's something called financial gluttony. So, people are financially obese, but some people aren't ready for that conversation.
Cami: [00:54:43 unin].
Sharon: Yeah. What you have, you give. And what you know, you [00:54:47 unin]. And even now, I'm technically still--I mean, I'm self-employed because now I have my own business, but technically, I'm still unemployed. But I'm still making a point to if I'm taking another fitness professional's yoga class, I'm going to pay, or I'll pay for my friend who decided to home make a tie-dye shirt, because it's like you can't think of, "Oh, I have to hold on to the money I have. There's always more to be made. There's always [00:55:19 unin]." So, we had unlimited. Oh, my god, I would just give it all away, and I'll keep maybe like a couple grand to myself a month so I can live and eat [00:55:30 unin].
Cami: Right. Yeah. I love that. So, where can people find you? Because you're still doing amazing things over Zoom, right? So, tell people a little bit about that because if you haven't taken a class with Sharon, it's an experience.
Sharon: Yeah. I feel like my attention to detail really shows when I teach a class. So, yeah, teaching a class is on Zoom. You can find me at TheSharonKim. There's a lot of Sharon Kims, apparently, so I couldn't just have Sharon Kim. I had to put "the" in front of it.
Cami: I like that.
Sharon: No. So, you can find me on Instagram. TikTok is [00:56:10 unin], but you can find my TikTok through my Instagram. Let's see. So, yeah. When it comes to my personal training client, my private clients, I'm very selective about who I take on. I don't want [00:56:24 unin] myself, but I also always think to myself after my onboarding process, like I basically interview them, and find their injury history, everything about you. And I always think to myself, "Would I get drinks with this person on a Friday night?" If the answer is no, I'm not going to take them on because then how is that any different from me doing a job I don't like? I have to enjoy the person. And so, the energy has to be right. It's waiting, right? But the clients that I do have, we've been together like for years now. I mean, I've only been in the industry for two and a half years since the beginning, and my clients waited for me to get back from New York to [00:56:57 unin]. So, my private clients, you can always reach out, and we can always go through the process, but it's got to be a good fit, it's got to be a good fit.
Cami: Yeah. I love that. My friends always make fun of me because most of my clients, I mean, like almost every one of my clients is now like a personal friend. But you just become really close to people that you work with often and it's like it doesn't have to be--of course, you want to keep a certain level of professionalism, but I don't know. I think that's the joy of working one-on-one with people.
Sharon: Yeah. So, I would say if you want a trainer who cares about you as a person and doesn't just see you as a before and after transformation picture, or like a [00:57:41 unin], then hit me up.
Cami: Yeah. Hell, yeah. Who is one person right now that you're just in awe of?
Sharon: Oh, let's see. Who am I in awe of?
Cami: Like, just expands you to be like, "Wow, I see--" maybe like you see part of yourself in them and it makes you want to be--maybe not more like them, but you feel like, "Okay. If they can do it, I can do it."
Sharon: So, I have a friend. Her name is Akina Newbraugh. I'm going to just shamelessly drop her. I think she's only like 24, 25. She just graduated from Georgetown Law and she just started at Sidley, big firm, crazy work hours. But she started this nonprofit called The Playing Field Project. It basically provides access to change the legal landscape. If you think about people and positions of power in the legal world, it's mostly white men. It starts from the beginning of the process where black people, brown people, Asian people, everyone, need the same level playing field. They provide assistance, guidance, prep for LSATs, things like that. So, just watching her do that, hire her marketing people, she's a founder and juggled that with school, and starting big law, it's just so inspiring to me. That's one thing I want to take away, too, is age doesn't matter. I'm inspired with people who are younger than me all the time. I'm [00:59:22 unin] my clients all the time. But one person right now who's expanding me is Akina. She makes me think about potentially the legal world, and how you can have a bigger reach and ascend to a deeper level of helping people through that work. So, if you look up The Playing Field Project.
Cami: I will. We'll link that below just so that people can check that out if they're interested. I love that, I love that. I wasn't going to ask that question, but it just popped in. I'm like, "That sounds [00:59:55 unin], and it sounds like it was." Amazing, Sharon. Well, this was so much fun. I have so enjoyed talking to you. Check Sharon out online. She's just a bundle of fun and realness, and we love that around here. So, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me today.
Sharon: Yes. Thank you for having me. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. And if you're listening at home, I love you all.
Cami: Oh, thank you, Sharon.